Sunday, March 26, 2006

An Up of Autism

Like having a child with curly hair or a child with blue eyes, or any child really, having a child with autism has its up's and down's. Yesterday, we got one of the up's from The Mermaid. As you may know, people with autism tend not to notice social mores much, so tact can be an issue (which reminds me of a hilarious thing that one of my friends' then-wife said to him after he said something rude: "Dave, remember that thing we talked about? Tact?"). The following is a transcription of a conversation that The Mermaid, Enthusio and I had yesterday at about 11 a.m. in our living room:

Webbed Toe (WT): OK, I have to go to work for a while.

Mermaid (M): Why can't I go?

WT: It would be really boring. I can't let you be on the computer because I have to use it.

M: I could take the GameBoy.

WT: Well, I think Mom is planning to take you guys to Davis Diamonds [a gym with open hours on Saturdays].

M: OK, I would rather do that than go to work with you.

WT (chuckling): That's one thing I love about you, Mermaid. You're always honest.

E: What does honest mean?

WT: It means that Mermaid doesn't lie.

M: Well, I do sometimes.

And that, my friends, is one of the up's of having a child with autism.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

80's Quiz

For my own entertainment, I made up an '80s quiz. I'll post the answers in a week or so. Have fun. If I got the events in the wrong year, I don't want to hear about it.

1980

1. Who shot J.R.?

2. Who scored the winning goal when the U.S. hockey team beat the U.S.S.R. in the 1980 Olympics?

3. Miracle on Ice bonus true or false: By beating the U.S.S.R., the U.S. won the gold medal.

4. Song lyric: “So I got to ride, ride like the ______, to be free again.”

5. Multiple choice: The Pina Colada song guy said he was not into: (a) yogurt; (b) yoga; (c) yogis; or (d) Yo MTV Raps.

6. The “jive translator” woman in Airplane! was: (a) Harriet Nelson; (b) Mrs. Brady; (c) Mrs. Cleaver; or (d) Mrs. Partridge.

7. Movie line bonus: “Joey, do you like ________________ movies?”

8. According to George Bush, Ronald Reagan’s economic plan was “_________ economics.”

9. In The Empire Strikes Back, Luke’s _________ is killed by a ________ on the planet _______.

10. Star Wars Bonus: Name as many Muppets as you can who have the same voice as Yoda. (One point for each Muppet.)

11. Movie line: “Nazis, I hate ________ Nazis.”

12. Bonus movie line: “Hey, look, the new ___________ are out early this year.”

1981

13. Sandra Day O’Connor became the first female Supreme Court justice in 1981. Later, in the 80’s, she attended an event in Washington, D.C., at which a Washington Redskins running back got drunk and told her, “Hey, Sandy baby, ________________.” Complete the quote for a point and name the running back for a point.

14. John Hinckley shot Ronald Reagan to impress what actress?

15. Reagan bonus true or false: Ronald Reagan would approve of that actress’s lifestyle.

16. Movie line: “Throw me the ______, I throw you the _____.”

17. Bonus movie line: “________, why’d it have to be _________?”

18. Fernando Valenzuela’s country of origin was ___________.

19. Bonus sports question: Because of the unique playoff structure Major League Baseball adopted because the 1981 players’ strike, what team had the best total record in 1981, but did not make the playoffs?

20. The first video on MTV was _____________________.

21. Bonus: One point for each of the original MTV VJ’s that you can name.

22. Movie line: “He’s got about 200 yards to the hole, looks like he’s got about a _________.”

23. According to the Reagan administration, ketchup was: (a) the backbone of the California tomato economy; (b) a vegetable for purposes of school lunches; (c) the best substitute available for blood in “Bedtime for Bonzo;” or (d) an important export to China, thus completing the circle that began with Marco Polo.

1982

24. Devo appeared in a commercial for what consumer product.

25. Bonus Devo question: In what brand’s commercial did Devo appear?

26. Who made “The Catch” on a pass from Joe Montana?

27. Football Bonus: The nickname of the 49ers’ star linebacker in 1982 was ___________.

28. The Stanford band member who was run over at the end of UC Berkeley’s “The Play” was the ______________ player.

29. Sports bonus true or false: One of the UC Berkeley players who participated in The Play is currently serving a life sentence for murder.

30. Music: What kind of jeans did Diane wear?

31. True or false: The Go-Go’s just said no.

32. The first African-American Miss America was _______________________.

33. Bonus true or false: She did not serve her whole term because explicit pictures of her were published in Playboy and she was forced to resign.

34. In Flashdance, Jennifer Beals’ character was a __________ (job) from ______________ (city).

35. Movie bonus true or false: Jennifer Beals did her own dancing in Flashdance.

1983

36. Jabba the Hut planned to feed Luke Skywalker and Han Solo to what creature on Tatooine?

37. Star Wars Bonus: How long was that creature reputed to digest its food?

38. Who directed the Thriller video?

39. Bonus: That director also directed what other movie referenced in this quiz.

40. Song lyric: “Her name is _____ and she dances on the _______.”

41. What two future NBA Hall of Famers were members of the University of Houston basketball team that North Carolina State beat in the NCAA championship game on a last-second dunk?

42. NCAA basketball Bonus: One of the Houston players used one first name in college and another in the NBA. What were those closely-related names?

43. Not realizing that his microphone was on, Ronald Reagan said that what country had been outlawed and that what would begin immediately?

44. Kevin Bacon did not jump off of the tractor during Footloose’s tractor chicken game because _______________.

45. Footloose bonus: One of Kevin Bacon’s friends in Footloose was in what Quentin Tarantino movie and his character nickname was ______________.

46. According to David Bowie, what color shoes do you put on to dance the blues?

47. Movie quote: "Why don't you just make ____ louder? [Long pause] Because this one goes to ____."

1984

48. What actress appeared in the video for Dancin’ in the Dark?

49. Boss Bonus true or false: Bruce Springsteen endorsed Ronald Reagan’s re-election campaign.

50. Who won the Olympic gold medal in women’s figure skating?

51. Bonus: Who won the silver?

52. Double figure skating bonus: The gold and silver medalists initially tied. What was the tiebreaker?

53. The “Where’s the Beef” lady’s real name was _________________.

54. Beef Bonus: Wendy’s later sued the “Where’s the Beef” lady for copyright infringement for appearing in another commercial and alluding to the location of the beef.

55. Movie line: “____________ would so capture the moment.”

56. Bonus movie line: “Get him a _______ bag!”

57. True or false: McDonald’s went into bankruptcy because the Soviet bloc boycotted the 1984 Summer Olympics, the Americans won so many more medals than had been expected and McDonald’s was running an “American gets a medal, you get free food” promotion.

58. What was the last single released from Thriller?

59. After the Olympics, Mary Lou Retton became the national spokeperson for what relatively low-profile sport: (a) curling; (b) gymnastics; (c) bowling; or (d) golf.

60. Sonny Crockett’s alligator was named _______________.

1985

61. TV: Larry "____" Melman.

62. True or false: The first Air Jordans were partially white.

63. SNL: Tommy Flanagan’s imaginary wife was ____________________ (hint: he claimed she was his wife, she wasn’t actually imaginary).

64. Van Halen fired David Lee Roth and hired _____________ as their lead singer.

65. Van Halen Bonus: Van Halen’s first album with the new lead singer was named _________.

66. Van Halen Double bonus: That album title refers to ______________________.

67. Van Halen Triple bonus: David Lee Roth now is a licensed: (a) distributor of alcoholic beverages; (b) massage therapist; (c) emergency medical technician; or (d) minister, by virtue of having answered an ad at the back of Rolling Stone.

68. True or false: In 1985, numerous Major League Baseball players were dragged before a grand jury to discuss their use of steroids.

69. State the amount of electrical power necessary for Marty McFly’s car to go back and forth in time.

70. Movie bonus: What kind of car was the time machine?

71. Double movie bonus true or false: The businessman for whom the car was named was convicted of cocaine trafficking during the 80’s.

72. According to David Byrne, where is water flowing?

73. Mrs. Huxtable was an attorney. What kind of doctor was Mr. Huxtable?

74. Cosby Show bonus: Based on the show’s depiction of Mrs. Huxtable’s work schedule, approximately how many hours a year did Mrs. Huxtable bill at her law firm: (a) 0; (b) 1,000; (c) 1,500; or (d) 2,000?

75. Multiple choice: Why did Chicago Bears quarterback Jim McMahon always wear sunglasses: (a) because of the Corey Hart song; (b) as child, a fork got stuck in his eye and one of his pupils was permanently dilated; (c) the future was so bright; or (d) bright lights gave him migraines and he had to save his unshaded time for games.

76. What would kill a Gremlin (not like “all the party boys drive a Grem-i-lin,” but like the movie)?

1986

77. Shortly before the Challenger exploded, mission control told the crew to “Go with” what?

78. What famous singer sang back-up on Dire Straits’ song “Money for Nothing?”

79. Money for Nothing Bonus: How did Dire Straits come to know that singer?

80. Rocky fought Ivan Drago in what city on what day?

81. Movie line: “That’s right, _______, I am _________.” (Hint: if the actor wasn’t what fills in that last blank then, he is now.)

82. Bonus movie question: A supporting actor in what movie released in 1986 is now playing a polygamist on TV?

83. Double bonus movie line: In that movie, the actor said: “_____ _____, man, _____ ______.”

84. True or false: In Game 6 of the 1986 World Series, the Red Sox’s Bill Buckner let the Mets’ Mookie Wilson’s ground ball roll through his legs, allowing the Mets to score the tying and winning runs.

85. Bonus: The MVP of the 1986 World Series is, or at least was, married to a famous female golfer. Name both of them.

86. Fill-in: William “The __________” Perry.

87. The detective agency on Moonlighting was named _________________.

88. TV bonus: On Moonlighting, one of Miss DiPesto’s boyfriends also appeared in two well-known 80’s movies. In Revenge of the Nerds, he was Booger. Name: (1) the other well-known 80’s movie in which he appeared; (2) the type of test he had the morning after he was being followed in that movie by a character played by Joe Pantiliano of Sopranos and The Matrix fame; and (3) the nickname he gave to Mr. Pantiliano’s character.

89. Cameron’s father had what kind of car.

90. TV bonus: Name two 80’s TV shows in which the same make of car as owned by Cameron’s father was featured prominently. (Hint: two featured tropical climates.)

91. Movie bonus: What music plays as the parking attendants drive Cameron’s dad’s car over a bump and catch air?

1987

92. Name the three Beastie Boys.

93. True or false: Bono’s real name is Dave.

94. Bad Bono bonus: In what city did Bono spray-paint on public art and get fined?

95. Movie fill-in: Glenn Close took Michael Douglas’s daughter to the __________________.

96. Bonus movie true or false: The ending of the above-referenced movie was reshot because test audiences didn’t like the original ending.

97. Oliver North’s attorney Brendan Sullivan said he was not: (a) an idiot; (b) a potted plant; (c) a rocket scientist; or (d) someone who liked to represent people convicted of felonies whose convictions subsequently were overturned on technicalities by ideologically sympathetic appellate judges.

98. Multiple choice: Jimmy Swaggart said that, if his flock didn’t contribute several million dollars to his ministry, God would: (a) be really mad; (b) call him home; (c) unleash tornadoes across the Midwest; or (d) vote for Pat Robertson for President.

99. What did Diane have on her face when Sam asked her to marry him?

100. TV bonus: What song made Carla dance involuntarily: (a) Shake Your Tailfeather; (b) Shout; (c) Louie Louie; or (d) Twist and Shout, but only the Isley Brothers’ version.

101. Movie line: “Greed, ___ ___ ___ __ ___ ____, is good.”

1988

101. What candidate won the Iowa caucuses on the Republican side?

102. Democratic presidential candidates Dick Gephardt and Michael Dukakis supposedly had how many eyebrows between them.

103. Who was on base when Kirk Gibson hit his home run against Dennis Eckersley in Game 1 of the 1988 World Series?

104. Name the theme song of George Bush’s presidential campaign.

105. Bush Bonus true or false: If you had heard that song one more time, your head would have exploded.

106. Tom Hanks appeared at least periodically on at least three TV shows in the 80's. Name: (1) the three shows; (2) the show on which he was a co-star; (3) his co-star on that show; (4) the other classic 80's on which Hanks' co-star was a recurring character; and (5) the names of the three brothers on that last show.

107. Political fill-in: “Senator, I knew ___________, I served with __________, Senator, you’re no ________________.”

109. Name the carnival machine that caused the kid to become Tom Hanks in Big.

110. Big Movie bonus: Robert Loggia appeared as Tom Hanks’ boss in Big and as the evil father-in-law in another 80’s movie. Name: (1) the 80’s movie in which Mr. Loggia was the evil father-in-law; (2) the star of that movie; and (3) the competitive sport in which the star participated in the movie.

111. SNL: The first guest on Sprockets with Dieter was: (a) Ben Stiller playing Eddie Munster; (b) Jim Carrey playing Iggy Pop; (c) Dana Carvey playing Andy Warhol; or (d) Phil Hartman playing Ronald Reagan.

112. According to the guys on the mound in Bull Durham: (a) candlesticks always make a nice gift; (b) a Blaupunkt is a better car stereo than a Pioneer; (c) you have to cut the head off a live chicken to take a curse off a mitt; (d) Millie was “better” than Annie; (e) Pantera was a better band than Quiet Riot; (f) all of the above; (g) a and c, but not b, d and e; (h) a and d, but not b, c and e; (i) b, d and e, but not a and c; or (j) a, b and d, but not b and c.

1989

113. What Soviet bloc country opened its borders shortly before East Germany did and was the first Soviet bloc country to do so?

114. Political bonus: In the famous photograph from after the Tiananmen Square massacre, in front of how many tanks did the protestor stand?

115. Name the restaurant involved in Do the Right Thing.

116. Right Thing Bonus: Name Public Enemy’s DJ.

117. Super movie bonus: The proprietor of the restaurant in Do the Right Thing played the brother of an Oscar winner in an Oscar-winning 80’s movie, although the actor didn’t win his Academy Award in that particular movie. Name: (1) the two actors; (2) the Oscar-winning 80’s movie in which they played brothers; (3) one or more of the Oscars that that movie won; and (4) the movie in which the one actor won his Oscar.

118. Name the members of the Traveling Wilburys.

119. In the Simpsons’ pilot, Homer gave his family what for Christmas.

120. Movie fill-in: “Have you ever danced with the _______ in the pale __________?”

121. In 1989, for the first time since Reconstruction, an African-American was elected governor of a U.S. state. Name the state and the governor.

122. Valeria Golino starred as the romantic female lead in two major American movies in 1988-1989. Name: (1) the movies; and (2) the male romantic lead in each movie.

123. Bonus boyfriend point: Describe in one sentence which of Ms. Golino’s male romantic leads you now find more normal and why.

124. Tone Loc did not make which one of the following songs: (a) Cheeba Cheeba; (b) Wild Thing; (c) White Lines; or (d) Funky Cold Medina.

Super, super 80’s bonus question:

125. Two actresses played the same part in different Star Trek movies. Name: (1) the part; (2) the actresses; (3) the Star Trek movie in which each first appeared in the part; (4) the long-running TV shows in which each appeared; and (5) the products for which they are now respectively shilling.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Kinsey

The Muse and I caught the last 3/4 of Kinsey the other night. The Muse had a very difficult weekend healthwise and this movie came on when she was starting to feel a little better and we both had wanted to see it and it was on, so what the hell?

It was a pretty good movie, nothing earthshaking. It was a pretty standard biography, although about a pretty interesting guy. What stuck out to me was the acting. Most prominently, it was the first thing that I have seen that indicated to me that Liam Neeson actually is a pretty decent actor. In everything I had seen him in previously, he played pretty much the same guy. A big, manly guy who also was pretty sensitive. Husbands and Wives. Phantom Menace (man, it hurts just to acknowledge that movie's existence -- damn you, George Lucas, making bad Star Wars prequels). Even Schindler's List. More or less the same kind of guy.

But Kinsey was different. He was playing this rather odd, very driven guy who decided that his life's mission was to find out as much about people's sex lives and get the information out there so that people would understand things better. He experimented with various alternatives himself, to see what they were like. He was willing to let his wife sleep with his assistant (with whom he had slept too) to promote his studies. He calmly conducted an interview with a guy who basically was a serial child molester. It was very interesting to see him playing this part, which he did well.

With one pretty glaring exception (more on that later), the acting was very, very good. Laura Linney was, as always, very good as Kinsey's wife, sort of this respectable Midwestern faculty wife who happened to participate actively in some of Kinsey's efforts. Peter Saarsgard also was, as always, very good. He has this very interesting technique where he speaks very quietly, but intensely, and pulls you in to pay close attention to what he is saying. He also has this way of saying kind of shocking things very blandly and calmly, like when he tells Dr. Kinsey that he would like to stop sleeping with Dr. Kinsey and start sleeping with Mrs. Kinsey. Basically, he presents himself in the way that is the opposite of what you would expect in the situation, which makes you pay closer attention. It's sort of like Al Pacino in the first two Godfather movies, I guess, which is saying something.

Now for the exception. I was merrily watching Kinsey when The Muse pointed out, "Hey, honey, it's your favorite actor." To which I thoughtfully replied, "What?" "It's Chris O'Donnell," she said. And, sure enough, it was Chris O'Donnell. Here is someone whose fame and fortune I will never understand. He's basically a bland, blond American lookin' guy who can't act his way out of a paper bag, yet probably has several million dollars in his bank account due to his participation in classics like Scent of a Woman, Batman & Robin and The Bachelor. Now, the several million dollars part I can take. Lots of people who don't deserve to be rich are (Paris Hilton, Nikki Hilton, etc.). What galls me specifically about Chris O'Donnell is that he gets to play in the AT&T Crosby pro-am at Pebble Beach because of his lousy movie career.

So enough about how Chris O'Donnell galls me. Let's move on to how bad he was in Kinsey. He basically was the opposite of Peter Saarsgard. Where you expect O'Donnell to be loud and mad, he's loud and mad. Where he and Neeson are interviewing the serial child molester, O'Donnell's character gets sick of it. O'Donnell shouts, "Screw this, I'll see you in the bar" and stomps out. Nice. What a brilliant choice of acting technique. Then he gets all twinkly at some point about his girlfriend. God, give me a break.

What was fascinating was to see Saarsgard and O'Donnell in the same movie. Saarsgard bascially can act circles around O'Donnell, largely because Saarsgard doesn't go for the obvious cut at things. I don't think that it's much of a stretch to say that Saarsgard will still be getting good parts when O'Donnell is starring in a reality show with one of the Olsen twins.

Too Much Rain

OK, I'm a weather wimp, I'll admit it. Don't like snow much, for example. God knows, we don't live in Seattle, but I am good and ready for this particular California winter to be done. Too much rain for too long, man. As a native Californian, I pretty much have realized that I feel entitled to some nice 65 to 70 degree sunny to partly cloudy days in March. Haven't had too many those this year. I'm waitin'.