Another Goofy Comedy

Listening to the radio yesterday, I realized that I had missed one of the really good Goofy Comedies. I was listening to the KNBR drivetime show and Tom Tolbert was on alone, which means the show was goofier (and probably better) than when Ralph Barberie is there, too. Anyway, they got going on a jag about Major League, the baseball movie. They had all of these callers calling in about Serrano, the big guy who was into some religion that centered on the god Jobu and said stuff like, "Hats for bats, keep bats warm, gracias."

Major League was a very good Goofy Movie. I'll give a Movie+.

When it came out, the Indians hadn't moved to Jacobs Field yet and they were bad, really bad, year after year. They got a little hope when Joe Charbonneau was AL Rookie of the Year in about 1980 (he opened beer bottles with his eye socket!), but he flamed out. Len Barker threw a perfect game for them in 1981 (against Toronto, I think), but he didn't come to much either. I don't think that they had had a winning season in at least 10 years. They were so desperate that in about 1974, they had 10 cent beer night and ended up forfeiting the game because the fans got so drunk by the ninth inning that they were running around on the field, some of them naked and attacking the players. The Muse and I saw a little piece about this on HBO recently and it was freakin' hilarious.

Major League got that vibe and then juiced it with the idea of an owner who wanted the Indians to lose. (So she could move them to Miami, which turned into a bitter coincidence in 1997, when the Florida Marlins beat the Indians in Miami in Game 7 of the World Series after the Indians had been within two outs of their first ring since 1948. I don't know that I have ever rooted harder FOR a baseball team other than the Dodgers than I did for the Indians during the playoffs and World Series that year. I have rooted very hard AGAINST many teams (e.g., the Braves many times, the Yankees damn near every year, really enjoyed last year when they totally choked), but rarely FOR a team other than the Dodgers as hard as for the Indians in 1997. Bugs me greatly that the Marlins, who have only been around since 1993 and whose fans only support them when they win, have won two World Series while teams like the Indians and Cubs haven't won in forever.) There's just all kinds of good, goofy stuff in the movie. Some examples:

"Juuuust a bit outside." "One hit, we got one goddamn hit?!? You can't say that on the radio. Aw, who cares, no one's listening anyway." "Too high, it's too high. What you mean it's too high? I don't know, it just looked like it was too high." "What league were you in last year? California Penal." Spoken by an Asian groundskeeper with subtitles: "Who are these f----n guys?" "Jesus, I like him very much, but he doesn't help me hit a curveball. Are you saying Jesus can't hit a curveball?!?" "I don't know Rexy, I don't think that one has the distance." "Wanna trade? Nah, I'm not into Song of Hiawatha." And, of course, in what I believe what The Muse's favorite moment, the manager peeing on Corbin Bernsen's contract.

The thing that kept Major League out of the pantheon of truly great Goofy Movies -- again, the Holy Trilogy is Animal House, Airplane! and There's Something About Mary -- is that the filmmakers' resolve, their commitment to truly over-the-top Goofiness, failed. There's that whole bad storyline about Tom Berenger and Rene Russo. (Rene Russo's performance may be the first known example of what has come to be known as the Liv Tyler Law of Diminishing Returns, namely that, with certain actresses in certain movies, your interest wanes in direct proportion to the amount of time that they are on screen, as with Ms. Tyler in the Lord of the Rings movies. I have consciously avoided Chris O'Donnell, but I bet the Law applies to him too, so it isn't gender-specific.) And, perhaps most egregiously, with Tom Berenger doing the Babe Ruth thing and calling a shot at the end in a supposed one-game playoff against the Yankees. NO ONE WOULD EVER, EVER DO THAT. EVER. No self-respecting city league softball player would ever to do that. Any professional baseball player ever pulled something like that, he might be attacked by his own teammates. If Babe Ruth did it (there is much dispute), it's because he was Babe Ruth and was the one guy who could do stuff like that.

So that's Major League. Watch it, know it. Soak up its goofiness with a beer (except you, Intenseus and Guitar Guy).