Golf and The Gym

My grandfather -- Papa -- taught me how to golf when I was a kid. At least as important to him was that I learn the etiquette of golf. Don't stand in other people's lines when they're putting. Don't get so mad that you bug the people with whom you're playing. Shake hands with the guys with whom you are playing when you're done. Most importantly, don't hold other people up. If the people behind you are playing faster than you, let them through. You are not a pro and there aren't a million bucks riding on your putt, so don't spend 15 minutes lining it up Golf is a game, it should be fun.

Going to the gym reminds me of all of this, but not in a good way. Basically, as best I can tell, there is no etiquette at the gym. A lot of people apparently view entering the gym as a magical experience that transforms them into the only important person in the world. I have seen a man yell at a woman, calling her a bitch, because the woman turned the TV volume up enough to listen to the football game that was on TV. People open the gym doors when it's close to freezing outside without asking anyone else and while wearing long-sleeve shirts and long pants. At our gym, people messing with the stereo speakers apparently was such a problem that each of the speakers now has a sign that says something like, "Don't touch the speakers. If you do, your gym membership will be immediately revoked."

The difference between golf and the gym strikes as one of rules. There are rules in golf. The formal rules of golf are lengthy and, when you're playing seriously, you are expected to enforce them on yourself. For example, in serious golf, you are expected to keep your playing partner's score accurately and your playing partner then checks his or her scorecard. If you screwed up keeping my score and I don't catch it before signing my scorecard, tough noogies, I lose. In 1967, at the Masters, Roberto DeVincezo's playing partner wrote down a 4 on a hole when DeVincezo made a 3. DeVincezo signed the screwed-up scorecard and lost the Masters -- one of the two or three most important golf tournaments in the world -- by that one shot. The rules that Papa taught weren't that rigid, but you are supposed to follow them. Do unto others as you have them do unto you.

The gym has no established rules. Power abhors a vaccuum, so people apparently view the lack of structure at the gym as an opportunity to behave in ways that they would never behave in their professional lives. People do what they want without a lot of regard for others. It isn't pretty sometimes. Papa would not be pleased.